LISTS FOR THE SICKEST OF MINDS

RHODE ISLAND PSYCHOS

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Are you curious as to who is the Ocean State's foulest? We assure you it's much more horrifying than you imagine...

DEADLY GAMES

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So many games, so little time. You don't spend much with these games though because after you play someone ends up dead...

TRUE CONSPIRACIES

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They are all just bullshit right? Well it turns out a bunch of them are true and wouldn't you know it, it's all the most disturbing ones...

PSYCHIC DETECTIVES

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Can you predict who made our list? It reveals some scam artists but also some inexplicable cases that couldn't be coincidence? Right? 

OUIJA BOARD MURDERS

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Are you touching it? I'm not touching it. It's all fun and games until someone gets possessed and murders their loved ones...

DOOMSDAY CULTS

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Sure it seems great to be surrounded by people that like you, but is it worth it when you're really in a cult waiting for the end of the world?

KILLER SONGS

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Do you ever find yourself singing along to the lyrics "die muthafucka die"? These 5 didn't either but they still killed people because of songs

FREAKY PHOBIAS

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What scares you? See if your greatest fear made our list and find other phobias you didn't know you had in the process

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT

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Not everyone gets a trophy on this list of twisted sporting event outcomes. And you thought tennis was boring....

EXTREME 911 CALLS

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What's your emergency? Oh you need a new list to read... Try out this one full of unnerving phone calls to 911. 

CURSED FILMS

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Comedies and tragedies, well, mostly tragedies on this list of movies that were cursed on the set. How many of the 5 have you seen?

URBAN LEGENDS

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These all happened to my sister's friend's boyfriend's mom's podiatrist's secretary's bank teller. I swear it's true. 

SUPERSTITIONS

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Why would some people sooner run over a black cat than let it cross their path? Find out where these superstitions and more come from... 

BOTCHED EXECUTIONS

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EXECUTION FAILS- well, people still died, so maybe they weren't total fails, but the executions did NOT go according to plan...

DISTURBING DISEASES

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Were monsters based on human diseases? Are werewolves real? Grab some extra shampoo and see what the medical realm thinks.

IN LOVE WITH A MONSTER

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Lonely? Try writing a psychopathic murderer to see if they're down to Netflix and chill? Learn why ladies are looking for dates with inmates...  

FRIDAY THE 13TH

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How unlucky is Friday the 13th? Even if you're not at Camp Crystal Lake, or in Manhattan... or space, these 5 make it seem like it's very unlucky

CIRCUS FREAK ACCIDENTS

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Next time you ride a roller coaster, you'll want to make sure you check your harness a bit extra after hearing these stories. 

RHODE ISLAND PSYCHOS

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1. CRAIG PRICE

Price committed his first murder at the age of 13 in Warwick, RI. He stole a kitchen knife from his then neighbor's house Rebecca Spencer (27 years old) and stabbed her 58 times. 

Price would lay dormant for a couple more years before reemerging for his most repulsive crime. At the age of just 15, when most of us would be watching cartoons, Price murdered a family of three. September 1, 1989 high on weed and LSD he stabbed Joan Heaton (39 years old) 57 times, her daughter Jennifer (10 years old) 62 times and her other daughter Melissa (8 years old) 30 times and crushed her skull. The stabbings were so violent and brutal that the knives broke, leaving blades lodged inside the victims' bodies. Price indicates that racism at the hands of whites is what drove him to commit the crimes.g about your business here.

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2. JEFFREY MAILHOT

Mailhot preyed upon Woonsocket prostitutes during the early 90s. Typically a timid man, he would black out when drinking and wake up next to dead p-toots. He disposed of three bodies by sawing them up in his bathtub, separating their extremities into trash bags and dropping them in various dumpsters around town. He was captured after a fourth victim escaped from his violent assault and contacted police. Jeffrey confessed to murdering Audrey Harris, Christine Dumont and Stacie Goulet.


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3. MICHAEL WOODMANSEE

Woodmansee grew up sheltered under his police reservist father’s wing. In 1975, he murdered his young neighbor Jason Foreman and kept the decaying body in a chest in his room for years. Woodmansee would roam free seven years before being caught after a botched attempt to strangle a 14-year old paperboy. Woodmansee’s diary describes how he tasted the flesh and lacquered the bones in such gruesome detail that the court processing his trial chose to seal the evidence.

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4. ALFRED BRISSETTE

  

Brissette and a friend had a warped definition of fun. In 1999, they picked up 38 year old Jeannette Descoteaux and took her to a park in Burrillville under the premise of feeding her cocaine. These thrill killers wound up getting their high beating her to death. Shockingly, Brisette’s sentence was cut 20 years short after a parole board was impressed by a poem he wrote.

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5. WILLIAM SARMENTO

Tormented by visions of the devil, William Sarmento violently murdered two boys, Frankie Lee Barnes Jr. and Jason Wolf in 1987. A bizarre violence-obsessed childhood spent in dog houses and sewers showcase his history of madness. He was captured after attempting to frame a potential competitor for the girl he had his eye on, by writing a letter to the police.

DEADLY GAMES

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1. GLADIATORS

From 105 BCE to 404 CE, professional fighters would battle to their deaths in front of large arenas, housing about 30 to 50,000 spectators in ancient Rome. Using weapons from tritons and nets to swords and shields, these men and women would face each other or a variety of animals. Commodus, a particularly violent emperor, would have gladiators fight groups of injured citizens bound together to form what resembled a giant man. He would also arm dwarves with cleavers for his amusement.

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2. RUSSIAN ROULETTE

 A game where a bullet is put in a chamber of a gun and participants take turns pointing the gun at themselves and pulling the trigger. No real Russian origin, the term was coined in a 1937 short story by Georges Surdez. Listen to the podcast for some debate on whether death by Russian roulette counts as suicide and some interesting cases related to this game. Not to mention a family member of mine. 

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3. ULLAMALITZLI- AZTEC BALL GAME

Ullamaliztli, hard to pronounce, even harder to play. This game was played in courts built next to temples in the shape of an I with slopes on each side. Players would attempt to get a 9-pound hard rubber ball throw a hoop without letting the ball touch their hands. The losing team was sacrificed.

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4. REAL LIFE FIGHT CLUBS

Though largely secretive, we all know the first rule, real life fight clubs can occasionally be uncovered through online forums like craigslist. Many cities refuse to issue licenses for certain types of fights or bouts. San Francisco Bloody Knuckles club has a no-spectators rule. Oakland Bike gangs are notorious for their fight clubs. Silicon Valley even has its own version in which rich techies battle each other, occasionally using tennis racquets to cause more damage.

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5. MOMO

Played through online forums like Facebook, WhatsApp and Minecraft, Momo is a series of increasingly violent challenges culminating in suicide of the participant. Most players are teens being lured in by predators. Initially they may be asked to carve letters or numbers into their arms, if they refuse, they are sent gory pictures and haunted with Ubume photos, a warped image of an older Japanese woman of folklore.

CONSPIRACY THEORIES PROVEN TRUE

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1. PROJECT BLUEBOOK

From 1952 to 1969, the US Air Force conducted a study on Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) aiming to determine if they were a threat to national security and to scientifically analyze UFO related data. Bluebook is thought of as a conspiracy as it was said to be a smoke screen, improperly explaining UFOs away rather than examining them. 

This was the third in a series of similar projects. The first being called Sign in 1947, the second the Grudge in 1949. They turned away from horror movie titles with Bluebook which took its name from the booklets used for finals in colleges. 

Over the 17-year span of the project, 12,618 UFO reports were collected. The majority were chalked up to clouds, stars and planes. But 701 remain classified as unidentified. These are all available now under the Freedom of Information Act. 

Bluebook was led initially by Captain Edward Ruppelt. He took a very scientific approach to the whole thing. He coined the term “UFO.” Previously the military and elsewhere would say “flying saucer.” Craving objectivity, he would kick off teammates if they became either too skeptical or too convinced of a certain theory. The team was authorized to interview any and all military personnel that witnessed UFOs- without having to follow any chain of command. 

Ruppelt requested reassignment in 1953. A series of successors drove the project out of the sky and into the ground and Bluebook lost any credibility, scientific focus and integrity it had. This was the same year the military made it a crime to discuss classified UFO reports with unauthorized people. Punishable by 2 years in jail or a $10,000 fine. 

The Air Force summarized its conclusions from the study as follows: UFOs aren’t threats. There is no evidence that any UFOs observed were beyond scope of modern scientific knowledge. There is no evidence that any UFOs were extraterrestrial vehicles. Also, the final Bluebook report stressed that low grade, unverifiable reports of UFOs clogged intelligence and suggested a debunking campaign to encourage the public’s interest and belief in the matter to dissolve. Using Walt Disney, mass media, psychologists, astronomers and celebrities to ridicule the idea of UFOs. 

Not everyone was made a disbeliever though. Astronomer J. Allen Hynek, who coined the term “Close encounter,” started as a skeptic but began to waiver by participating on the project. The Air Force publicly announced in April 2003 that there were no plans to reestablish any more UFO study programs. But that’s not what happened… 

The Advanced Aviation Threat Identification Program was funded at $20 million a year from 2007-2012. It generated a, currently unavailable to the public, 490-page report documenting UFO sightings around the world. Though typical government funding stopped in 2012, “black money”- a Pentagon budgeting term for classified projects- continued to fund the effort. The head of the program was Luis Elizondo. He later resigned because he felt the program wasn’t taken seriously and went on to start the “To the Stars Academy” with Tom DeLong of Blink 182- the organization is now in major financial trouble.

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2. MKULTRA

From 1953-1973, practically overlapping Project Bluebook, MKUltra was a program led by the CIA to test and develop drugs through experiments on human subjects. The goal was to use these drugs in interrogations and collect confessions by controlling the subjects’ minds. This information would be used to assist with efforts in the Soviet Union and North Korea. 

Not all of the subjects entered the study willingly. They were subjected to abuse- both verbal and sexual, hypnosis, isolation, sensory deprivation, and torture. They were treated to forced consumption of LSD and other drugs. The studies were conducted at 80 institutions which served as fronts. Colleges, jails, hospitals were all sites used for research. 

The director of the CIA, Richard Helms, a real dick, ordered that all the documents related to MK be burnt. This didn’t happen to all of them so some are available due to the Freedom of Information Act. https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/search/site/mk%20ultra 

Part of MKUltra, Operation Midnight Climax, had the CIA set up several brothels within agency safehouses in San Francisco, California, to obtain a selection of men who would be too embarrassed to talk about the events. The men were dosed with LSD, the brothels were equipped with one-way mirrors, and the sessions were filmed for later viewing and study. The cameras were disguised as electrical outlets. 

Frank Olson, given LSD with his knowledge and jumped out a window to his death- or was he murdered? The family of Frank Olson had a second autopsy performed in 1994. A forensics team found injuries on the body that had likely occurred before the fall. The findings sparked conspiracy theories that Olson might have been assassinated by the CIA. After prolonged legal proceedings, Olson’s family was awarded a settlement of $750,000, and received a personal apology from President Gerald Ford and then-CIA Director William Colby. 

Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, volunteered for MKUltra experiments involving LSD and other psychedelic drugs while he was a student. "Whitey" Bulger volunteered for testing while in prison in Atlanta in 1957

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3. OPERATION MOCKINGBIRD

Mock-YEAH

Ing- YEAH

Bird-YEAH

Yeah-YEAH, this really happened. 

 

Operation Mockingbird started in the 50s and was a CIA funded program used to influence the media and inject propaganda into the world. The project was exposed in 1973 when one of the journalists they were trying to recruit to do their bidding, surprise, reported the story of what happened to her. 

The project took place during the Cold War in response to another organization funneling money to US papers and news sources to run stories that painted communism in a good light. The project also worked to wiretap journalists’ phones. 

George H W Bush, in 1976, declared that “Effective immediately, CIA will not enter into any paid or contractual relationship with any full-time or part-time news correspondent accredited by any U.S. news service, newspaper, periodical, radio or television network or station.” 

"About a third of the whole CIA budget went to media propaganda operations... We're talking about hundreds of millions of dollars a year just for that... close to a billion dollars are being spent every year by the United States on secret propaganda." – Testimony of William Schapp to Congress

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4. OPERATION NORTHWOODS

Operation Northwoods was a planned covert operation with the goal of blaming Cuba for an attack in efforts to fuel a war on Cuba. The proposal called for the CIA and other officials to commit acts of terrorism against American civilians and military targets. The plans detailed in the document included the possible assassination of Cuban immigrants, sinking boats of Cuban refugees on the high seas, hijacking planes, blowing up a U.S. ship, and orchestrating violent terrorism in U.S. cities. 

The proposal only didn’t go through because JFK rejected it last minute. The whole document available online: http://www.smeggys.co.uk/operation_northwoods.php

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5. BOHEMIAN GROVE

 Bohemian Grove is a camping area in the Redwoods in California which is owned by a gentlemen’s club. Many men on the roster are wealthy, business men, supplemented by artists and authors. Many believe that the club is a front for more important or devious undertakings. The Manhattan project meetings leading to the development of the atomic bomb took place at the grove. 

The club had a lawsuit brought against them because women have to leave the premises by 9 pm. The only women are typically girlfriends and wives, but some of the employees were mad that they couldn’t stay longer. 

Secret ceremonies filmed by Alex Jones, reported by other magazine writer infiltrators. Men would surround a giant owl statue and reenact human sacrifices. 

Richard Nixon’s oh-so-eloquent quote "The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time — it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine.”

psychic detectives

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1. SYLVIA BROWNE

On an episode of Montel Williams, psychic Sylvia Browne told Amanda Berry’s mother that her daughter was dead, as Amanda watched helplessly in Ariel Castro’s house where she was being held captive. Amanda’s mother went on to die of a heart attack shortly after, never knowing the truth about her daughter. After Berry’s rescue, Browne only had the following to say when confronted with her invalid predictions and their impact: “Only God is right all the time.”

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2. PHIL JORDAN

After meeting a deputy at a psychic conference held by the National Enquirer, Phil Jordan was brought in to assist with a murder investigation. Refusing to review the case files and relying solely on his psychic abilities, he led police through events that transpired. With no solid evidence, the case went cold. Phil Jordan continued to pray on a daily basis that the man who committed the crime would confess. Eventually, he did, citing that voices in his head were driving him crazy and forced him to come clean.

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3. ETTA SMITH

On a gut instinct, Etta Smith approached local police in connection with the whereabouts of missing person Melanie Uribe’s body. She decided to follow up on her feeling herself and set out with her children to explore the area she believed the body to be. Finding Melanie there, Etta called police again and they thanked her for her assistance by arresting her for suspected involvement. She would later be cleared of all charges.

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4. TROY GRIFFIN

Charging $250 an hour for his services, Troy likens his heightened anxiety levels to psychic connections. Unsuccessfully scouring desert landscapes with Kelsie Shelling’s mother, he believes he can help locate the missing pregnant woman’s body and bring healing to her entire family. He claims to have worked with over 40 different police departments yet can’t reveal their names or details of the investigations so as to respect the law’s integrity.

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5. ANNETTE MARTIN

Former opera singer, Annette Martin would go on to be a renown psychic, once sworn in as an expert witness in a court testimony. She would assist in locating missing persons by playing a psychic version of the children’s game “Warmer or Colder” on a map.

DRIVEN TO KILL BY THE OUIJA BOARD

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1. CAROL SUE ELVAKER

On February 11, 2001 in a small Oklahoma town, 53-year-old grandmother Carol Sue Elvaker sat playing Ouija board with her daughter and two granddaughters when she received a message from God telling her to kill her son in law who was sleeping in the next room over. She stabbed him with a kitchen knife and fled the scene with all the girls in tow. She slammed their car into a sign on the side of a freeway in an unsuccessful effort to kill them all. After trying to push one of her granddaughters into oncoming traffic, she stripped off all her clothes and ran into the woods. She was eventually caught and charged.

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2. CLOTHILDE MARCHAND

In 1930s Buffalo, Clothilde Marchand, the wife of artist and sculptor Henri Marchand, was found dead by her 12-year-old son. She had been beaten and had a chloroform rag stuffed into her mouth. It turned out that Henri’s mistress, Lila, had not been happy with his marriage. Lila had been taking advantage of an unfortunate illiterate widow named Nancy. The two women would play Ouija and Lila would pretend that the messages coming to the board were detailing how spirits wanted Nancy to murder Clothilde. Nancy was released a year after following these misguided instructions.

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3. PAUL AND MARGARET CAROLL

On Christmas Eve of 2014, Paul believed the household dog Molly was possessed by an evil entity after playing with the Ouija board. He drowned the dog in a bathtub, dismembered it and stuffed its body parts down the drain. After he was sent to jail for this heinous act, his wife and daughter decided to try to contact Molly’s spirit via the Ouija board. Upon being warned of imminent death, they burnt the house down. 

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4. HERBERT HURD

In 1935 Wisconsin, Nellie noticed that her husband Herbert had been acting distant. She consulted her Ouija board to determine if he had been having an affair with the neighbor. When it said “Yes,” she decided to punish him with the help of her daughter Bertha from a previous marriage. They chained him to a bed and tortured him, forcing him to sign a confession to the affair. Eventually, he was able to escape and killed Nellie in revenge. He was released and all charges were dropped. 

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5. STEPHEN YOUNG

35-year-old insurance broker, Stephen Young, shot and killed a newlywed couple in 1993. The victims’ families were relieved when he was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences- until the jury revealed they had used a Ouija board to assist in the verdict. Young was granted a retrial. 

DOOMSDAY CULTS

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1. HEAVEN'S GATE

  

· Leaders: Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles AKA “Bo and Peep” AKA “Do and Ti” 

· What they believed: they could board a spaceship trailing the Hale-Bopp Comet by killing themselves. Leaders related to Christ. 

· Doomsday Date: March 26, 1997 

· Membership at height: 41+

 
 

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2. AUM SHINRIYKO

  

· Leader: Shoko Asahara AKA Chizuo Matsumoto 

· What they believed: US would start a nuclear Armageddon. Leader is Christ. 

· Doomsday Date: from 10/30/2003 to 11/29/2003 

· Membership at height: 1500

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3. THE BRANCH DAVIDIANS

  

· Leader: David Koresh AKA Vernon Wayne Howell 

· What they believed: Apocalypse begin whenever their compound is attacked. Leader is Messiah. 

· Doomsday Date: 2/28/1993 

· Membership at height: 130

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4. TRUE RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHURCH

  

· Leader: Pyotr Kuznetsov 

· What they believed: Apocalypse would occur but they would avoid it by hiding in a cave, then they would become the judges of who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. 

· Doomsday Date: May 2008 

· Membership at height: 35

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5. CRECIENDO EN GRACIA

  

· Leader: José Luis de Jesús 

· What they believed: World government and economies would collapse allowing followers to transform and be able to walk through walls and fly. Leader is Christ and Antichrist. 

· Doomsday Date: Jun 30, 2012 

· Membership at height: 2 million, according to him

KILLER SONGS

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1. "I DON'T LIKE MONDAYS" - BOOMTOWN RATS

San Diego, 1979. Brenda Spencer was merely 16 years old when she picked up her rifle, a girft from her father, and began shooting at the elementary school across the street from her house. She injured eight kids and a police officer. She killed the school's principal and janitor. When asked why she committed this violent act, she responded to the media with "I don't like Mondays." 

The Boomtown Rats turned her detached, emotionless song into a catchy hit, topping charts worldwide.

 We recommend looking at photos of Brenda Spencer throughout her time behind bars. Some interesting mullets make appearances as she attempts to appeal her sentence. 

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2. DENVER'S LINKIN PARK STRANGLER

Richard Paul White is one of Colorado's most notorious serial killers. He has confessed to killing 6 people. Some o f his vicims include Miss Cordoza, a cosmetology student that he decided to kill when he saw her because he had a tattoo of a woman that resembled him; Annaletia Maria Gonzales, 27, Victoria Lyn Turpin, 32, and one dude- Jason Reichardt, 27 – a roommate that had gotten him a job. 

 Jason's is the only murder he refuses to really speak about. In court, RP said that his excuse for Jason’s accidental death was aiming the gun at him to demonstrate the safety was on but other reports say he just stole the guy’s truck. He has been dubbed "Denver’s Linkin Park Strangler" following his confession from jail that, "I would listen, actually, to LINKIN PARK before I would kill," He said, "And, while I was killing usually that music LINKIN PARK was on". The six-foot tall red-headed serial killer must have been a horrifying sight to his victims as he cruelly strangled them before burying them in his own backyard.

His sister Danyall said that he had an AC/DC record when he was a kid and someone told him that it was the devil’s music so he smashed it. 

This dude’s dad, Randolph “Duke’ White, was under investigation for selling a DVD he calls “Denver’s Linkin Park Strangler’ for $39.95. He said a portion of the money will go to the children of White’s victims. Victims’ families spoke out that they hadn’t seen a dime. When further pressed, Duke let everyone know that he was passing the money off to his grandkids, claiming they were affected by having to testify. Duke says his son’s mental illness stems from several years of abuse by his stepfather.

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3. "STAN" - EMINEM

Twenty-one year-old Christopher Duncan was way more than just an Eminem fan. He went so far as to get the same tattoos, bleach his hair and dress in a similar manner to Marshall Mathers. He frequented karaoke bars where he would perform Eminem songs and drink heavily. 

After singing numerous Eminem songs at a karaoke bar in the UK, Duncan took young and beautiful law student Jagdip Najran, back to his apartment in Bethnal Green, East London. She had apparently developed a crush on him while seeing him cover Eminem's songs. 

Once there, Duncan cruelly beat her and stuffed her body into a suitcase. Najran did not immediately die, but suffered for over an hour while crammed into the luggage. The crime scene was reminiscent of the video for "Stan" which starred Devon Sawa as a similarly obsessed fan. The Eminem impersonator is also the main suspect in the death of American artist Margaret Muller. Muller was a 27 year-old student stabbed to death while jogging in a park near Duncan's studio apartment. 

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4. "BEEF" - LIL REESE FEAT LIL DURK AND FREDO SANTANO

Florida, 2012. 47 year-old Michael Dunn and his girlfriend were in town for his son’s wedding and they stopped at a convenience store so she could get out and buy some white wine and chips. They pulled in next to 4 teenagers listening to the song "Beef" really loudly and Dunn said he hated that “rap crap.” So he asked them to turn the music down. 

The dude in the front seat did, but the driver, Jordan Davis turned it back up which started some shit. Dunn reacted by shooting into Davis' SUV 10 times as the teens tried to drive it away. The shots killed seventeen year-old Jordan Davis. 

The trial became a big controversy, focused on racism, and a couple documentaries were made about it. One is called "3 ½ Minutes, 10 Bullets" and focuses on the case and Florida’s stand your ground law. The other is by a Disney heiress and debates prolife and progun opinions with Davis’ parents. In October 2014, Dunn was convicted of murder and sentenced to life plus 90 years.

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5. "RONNIE" - METALLICA

The song is about a child called "Ronnie," and the lyrics revolve around a theme similar to a school shooting. Supposedly, the theme for the song was taken from a 1990's school shooting in Washington state. Apparently kids were mocking Ron Brown calling him Ron Frown. So I wanted to find this school shooting. 

Ruled out the first one, Darrell Cloud, who had returned to his alma mater later in life to kill a middle school teacher that had been sexually assaulting him. The next school shooting I could choose from one where a kid shot and injured 2 others after a MLK Jr. day assembly where he had been selling weed. He was 15 and tried as a juvie, out at 21, so his name was never released. He could possibly be named Ron Brown. 

Or finally, a Washington state 90's school shooting in Moses. In this Lake one, 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis killed a teacher and two students and wounded another student when he opened fire on his algebra class. Loukaitis was sentenced to life in prison. This shooting seems more frequently tied to the Pearl Jam song, "Jeremy." 

Though we are unable to track the official inspiration FOR Ronnie, we know what was inspired BY Ronnie: 

Ronald Pituch, a 26 year old New Jersey man, was pissed because his mom would go by him cigarettes. So he killed her with a 20 pound dumbbell, then tied up his 5 year niece in the house and left on his dirt bike. He attacked an elderly woman and then spotted an 11 year old on a bike and stabbed him to death with such force the knife broke off in his back. Terrifying. 

 He had stopped taking his meds, had been drinking a lot and harassing a former high school classmate. He claimed he was possessed by the devil and the song was about him. He bought the album while depressed wandering a Wal-Mart. The song, which describes a "small-town boy" who "lost his way, this bloody day" had been written solely for him, Pituch believes, and the violence that erupted on Oct. 17, 2002, had been preordained in its lyrics. "I wish I could relive that day, but I can't. I feel terrible about it. Nothing but shame," he said. "I know some people probably think I'm evil, but I don't think so. I feel like I was damned."

freaky phobias

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1. ARACHIBUTYROPHOBIA- THE FEAR OF PEANUT BUTTER STICKING TO THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH

Choosy moms choose JIF. Choosier moms choose not to give their kids peanut butter at all. What in the gal durn peanut shell? You might be wondering,.. The only thing dangerous about peanut butter is how addictive and delicious is it. But maybe this fear is more rational than we think....

In 1981, NY Times had to recall some advice to avoid holiday overeating by having spoonfuls of peanut butter prior to going out because they got some reports about the thick substance becoming lodged in people’s throats and lungs.

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2. ABLUTOPHOBIA- THE FEAR OF WASHING AND BATHING

This is most common in women and children. Americans tend to be frequent bathers, with 66 percent taking a shower at least once a day and only 7 percent bathing once a week or less. 

 

Most ablutophobia is typically accredited to : 

· Traumatic past events

· Other people’s fears internalized in childhood or genetics

· Carrying over a preference for childhood bath aversion into adult life

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3. AUTOMATONOPHOBIA- THE FEAR OF FALSE REPRESENTATIONS OF LIVE BEINGS

Wax figures, ventriloquist dummies, they can both be a bit creepy. I'm looking at you Slappy from Goosebumps.

 

Marie Tussaud, 1761 Germany. Her mom worked for a doctor that made wax models for anatomy purposes and she started learning from him when she was 6. She inherited his collection of wax figures when he died and started a traveling show going around Europe for 33 years. She settled into a permanent location in 1835 with the main attraction being the Chamber of Horrors. This did not commemorate freaks of nature, but mass murderers of the French Revolution, real monsters and murderers. It was renovated in 1996 and updated to include more evil folks from throughout history and the torture devices and instruments used- like Vlad the Impaler and Hitler. 

 

In 2008, a German man rushed past security on the opening day of the Berlin Madame Tussauds and ripped Hitler's head off. A sign asked people to refrain from posing with or taking pictures of the statue, but didn't specify that decapitation was prohibited as well. "It disturbs me that Hitler should become a tourist attraction," the attacker said. 

 

Ventriloquism was originally a religious practice. The Latin name breaks down to mean speaking from the belly., sometimes called gastromancy. Noises made by the stomach were supposed as coming from the dead. Ventriloquists could interpret these sounds, occasionally able to use them to predict the future. The Pythia, the priestess at the famous temple of Apollo in Delphi, used this method to give messages from the Oracle. 


Christianity took an anti-ventriloquism stand in the 16th century during wide spread witch trials. Belief that demons were behind the mysterious voices emanating from bodily holes— like vaginas or nostrils- began to spread. This could still be responsible for a lingering fear of these harmless dolls.

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4. CHIROPTOPHOBIA- THE FEAR OF BATS

dunna nunna nunna nunna - BATS CAN cause rabies. 

  

Not many people get rabies in the US- According to the CDC, there have only been 23 cases of human rabies reported in the US between 2008 and 2017, but some do: 

· Woman in Wyoming woke up and found a bat on her neck. Did not call a doctor, had to be hospitalized a month later because of slurred speech, weakness and respiratory failure 

· Utah man would catch bats and let his wife play with them and they would hang out inside the house because she thought they were cute

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5. CONSECOTALEOPHOBIA- THE FEAR OF CHOPSTICKS

Why are chopsticks scary? Maybe splinters... Maybe it’s a social thing... There are tons of etiquette rules easy to unintentionally break related to chopsticks that vary from region to region. For example, you can’t face them toward people, you can’t look through food, aka “grave digging,” for a certain item, you can’t cross them because it symbolizes death, you can’t put them vertically in food because it’s done at a funeral. 

 

They could be scary as their use can increase the risk of osteoporosis. 

  

Perhaps even more scary, they can be used to kill. 

· An unhinged man escaped from his restraints at a psychiatric hospital in China and killed three women with a single chopstick. Directly prior to this attack, perpetrator Yang Shitou had been laying in a bed at Luoning Public Hospital in Henan Province as a nurse cleaned up his room. The video, released by a Chinese media source, is linked below. 

Michikazu Ikeuchi, a 51 year old man stabbed his 80 year old father in the throat with a chopstick after trying to stop his parents from arguing.  

unsportsmanlike conduct

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1. ATHLETES ATTACKING OFFICIALS

June 30, 2013: 20 year old referee Otavio Jordao da Silva ejected 31 year old Josemir Santos Abreu from an amateur soccer match in Maranhao, Brazil. This started an argument and the ref pulled a knife on the player and stabbed him. Abreu actually wound up dying from this wound on his way to the hospital. Abreu’s family and friends rushed onto the field and tied the ref up. Reports indicate they beat him, stoned him, then quartered and decapitated him with a sickle. His severed head was placed on a spike on the field. Reports do not contain word on if the head was used as a soccer ball . 

 
One man was arrested – 27 yo Luis Moraes Souza. Brazilian police are quoted as saying that one crime does not justify another.

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2. FANS ATTACKING ATHLETES

April 30, 1993. In Hamburg, Germany at the Citizen Cup, the 19-year-old was stabbed in the back by 38-year-old Gunter Parche during a break between her tennis match against Magdalena Maleeva. He had made his way through the audience and onto the court, perhaps since the security guards faced the tennis players and not the crowd. Gunter used a 9-inch boning knife. It went about an inch deep and did not hit any organs or her spinal cord. 

 

Gunter was an obsessed fan of rival tennis player Steffi Graf. She had been the hottest tennis player for a while but it seemed that the younger Seles, who had been number one for two years in a row at the time of the incident had her number. Graf had lost to Seles at various points, citing food poisoning and menstrual cramps as excuses. Seles, played well despite constantly getting death threats since, though Hungarian ethnically, she repped Yugoslavia and she was on top during the Yugoslav wars. 

 

“When I knocked Steffi out of the number one position, his obsession cranked up and, according to a psychiatric evaluation, he was determined 'to teach Monica Seles a lesson'. He stated that I was 'not pretty. Women shouldn't be as thin as a bone'” Graf did come to visit Seles in the hospital for a few minutes 2 days after the stabbing.
 

The tennis association debated if Monica should be put back into the number one spot if she should return, they put it to a vote. All but one, who abstained, voted against freezing her spot. Stabbed in the back AGAIN , Seles vowed never to return to Germany after the attack due to the short sentence Gunter received. He got 2 years on probation- in a hospital- and was released, as he had been deemed insane and troubled. As if this wasn’t enough, shortly before the match, Seles found out that her father, a cartoonist that had drawn fun pictures to get her to enjoy tennis, had prostate cancer. After the attack, Seles went on to gain 10 dress sizes and become a binge eater. She now reps the only FDA approved binge eating disorder drug. She returned to tennis 2 years later and looks pretty hot now. BACK in action.

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3. GAMBLERS ATTACKING ATHLETES

During the 1994 FIFA World Cup, Colombian player Andrés Escobar accidentally scored a goal against his own team in a match against the United States, a match which Colombia lost 2–1. 


Escobar, though not related to Pablo, played for Atletico Nacional which was funded by the infamous robin-hood-esque drug lord. They could afford the best players. A little over 6 months before the match, Pablo had been shot dead by police the day after his birthday, Dec 2 1993, and there was a lot of unrest and competing criminal underworld characters. There had been a lot of pressure for this team to win and tons of people gambling on the outcome, which probably contributed to the player’s performances. . 

 

On his return to Colombia 6 days after the game, Escobar was confronted outside a bar in Medellín by a gunman who shot the player six times, killing him. The gunman reportedly shouted "¡Gol!" ("Goal!") for each bullet fired. At the time, a driver for the Henao brothers was charged. The Henao brothers were apparently known drug traffickers and had lost about $1M on the cup. After 24 years, Colombian police believe the man actually responsible for the killing is Santiago Gallon Henao, not his driver. 

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4. FANS ATTACKING FANS

February 1, 2012: al-Masry vs. al-Ahly soccer match in Egypt. Game started with a delay because Masry fans were on the field. They stormed it during the half and after each goal. Then again after the game ended. They were throwing bottles and fireworks, had stones and knives. The losing team fans tried to escape but couldn’t because stadium gates were locked. 


In the ensuing melees, 74 people were killed. 500+ injured. At least 470 Al-Masry fans were initially arrested and 73 eventually faced trial. The Egyptian army airlifted in soldiers by helicopter to rescue the players, who were stranded in their locker rooms. The coach was attacked and witnessed fans dying in the locker room. A bunch of the players retired after this. 


A lot of political turmoil and blame going with this one. Many believe the event was arranged. Video footage appears to show that the police were unable or unwilling to contain the attackers. In fact, reports of the police opening barriers separating the rival fans. Gates were welded shut. The coach said that at the north end of the stadium there was a banner that said, in English: "We are going to kill you all", a slogan which he thought was directed at the international media and not at the teams. The game was on the 1-year anniversary of "the battle of the camel," when armed thugs stormed protesters in Tahrir Square on camel-back. Not to be confused with the water bottle. 

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5. ATHLETES ATTACKING ATHLETES

Bruiser Brody was a former NFL player, turned sportswriter, turned professional wrestler. He was a BIG muthafucka- 6’8” and 295 pounds. He had insane curly long hair and a beard. He looks crazy, always opening his eyes insanely wide and yelling. Bruiser AKA King Kong, became very well known for his brawling style. Fans loved him, a lot of other wrestlers respected him for his talent, but he definitely pissed people off the majority of people that he was working “with.” 

 

Bruiser wouldn’t sell, there’s one cage match where he was up against Luger and just stopped moving and stood in the corner and just stood there. Lex would keep punching him and he never moved, the ref was like wtf and just called the match. Bruiser would sometimes just sit in the middle of the ring. He would switch the end of matches if he didn’t think the other dude deserved to win, or whenever he felt like it.

 
Of course this didn’t just piss off the boys in the ring, it rubbed the promoters the wrong way too. He was in the WWWF circuit but got into it with Vince J McMahon (senior) and moved on. He pretty much made his rounds across all the major wrestling promotions, he was big in Japan g. David Von Erich and Ric Flair in 1984 when David was found dead. Flair contends that David overdosed and that Bruiser quietly removed the evidence to both save the Von Erichs from ridicule and also to reduce the chance of an investigation into other wrestlers on the tour (Brody was a notorious steroid user) 

 
He was making his way over to WCW but wasn’t super stoked with the agreement being worked out. He wanted more money. The top dog in WCW while these preliminary negotiations were taking place was Invader No 1, Jose Gonzalez. There was a match where Brody refused to sell for Jose, apparently also called him a midget since he was a foot taller than him. On July 16, 1988 Brody was in San Juan, Puerto Rico on the card against Dan Spivey on a show that Jose booked. Jose was seen walking into the showers where Brody was with a towel over a knife in his hand. Apparently he was going in there to discuss business. A few screams or loud noises were heard and fellow wrestler, Tony Atlas, rushed in to find Brody with his guts spilling out of his stomach and Jose holding the knife. Atlas said it looked like Jose was gonna go for Brody’s throat so he pulled him out of the way and Jose cut off his ponytail with the knife. Atlas recalls Brody calling him Brother and telling him to watch out for his son. 

 
It took paramedics over an hour to navigate through to where Brody was since the stadium was mad crowded and once they got there they had trouble lifting him bc he is fucking huge. Brody was taken to the hospital where he died- some speculation that the doctors were performing exploratory procedures and not following medical standards that may have contributed to his death. Brody was also known to take aspirin for a fucked up elbow and to help him bleed in matches so that may have been a contributing factor as well. 

  

Jose was arrested and claimed self-defense. He was acquitted of all charges. Some more weirdness, the wrestlers/witnesses that would have testified against him (like Atlas) received their subpoenas to testify a day after the trial was concluded. One crazy thing, Ric Flair has an interview where he claims that he was at the match- which he was not- and that Jose had a 2 year old daughter that had drowned in a pool 2 days before the match making him crazy and ready to kill. Jose went on to pitch an angle in Japan with Atsushi Onita where Onita was going to get revenge for Brody’s death and they even staged a fake stabbing but Gonzalez couldn’t get into the country so plans were dropped.

EXTREME 911 CALLS

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1. THE BOY THAT DIDN'T WANT SALAD FOR DINNER

A 12-year-old boy, home with his parents called 911 in Halifax Canada to complain of child abuse, his parents were forcing him to…. eat salad. The police were in route to his house, the mounties actually, and he called AGAIN because they weren’t coming there fast enough. His parents were PISSED when they opened the door to find police unexpectedly. False alarm fines can be up to $10K but the mounties were nice enough to give the tween a warning. 

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2. THE WOMAN THAT CONFESSED TO HER DAUGHTER'S MURDER

June 8 2009 Debra Jeter, a 32 year old mother was in the middle of a divorce and custody battle for her kids. Got to see them for the first time and told them she had a surprise for them. She took them to an abandoned house (12 and 13) and stabbed them, killing one and calling 911 after a change of heart. She refused to give her name but waited until the ambulance showed up. The 911 operator was really good, kept her calm and kept calling her sweetie.

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3. THE OPERATOR THAT HUNG UP WHEN HE HEARD PROFANITY

Albuquerque NM- Girl calls after her friend was shot in a drive by shooting and dispatcher hangs up on her when she swears. The ambulance had already been dispatched, the dispatcher resigned.

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4. THE GIRL WHO CALLED FROM HER KIDNAPPER'S PHONE

Say something interesting about your business here.  

2016 A girl met Shawn Grate about a month and a half before this 911 call incident in Ashland, Ohio. She used to read the BIble with him and considered him a goofy older brother type. He abducted her and raped her, tied her up and held her captive. The second night, he finally fell asleep and she was able to call 911. She is whispering and using HIS cellphone. When she was initially reaching for it, she accidentally grabbed his taser and it went off, he woke up for a second and then went back to sleep. The call is about 15 minutes long. Super tense, at one point she said Grate woke up and the operator tells her to set the phone down and there is a long silence.

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5. THE CHIMP THAT RIPPED A WOMAN'S FACE OFF

Travis, a famous chimpanzee used in show business, attacked his owner's friend in CT. The woman is freaking out and screaming, saying the chimp killed her friend. The operator doesn't miss a beat despite the irregular nature of the call. 

cursed films

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1. THE EXORCIST

Considered one of the scariest movies of all time, the film was cursed with a myriad of mishaps. Was it the devil- or just the director?

· Set caught on fire: everything but Regan’s room burned. The director, William Friedkin, blamed it on a winged creature with talons… A pigeon flew into a light box and started the fire. Regan’s room seems not to have burned because they had three super intense refrigeration units going constantly to keep it 30 below zero. Only Regan was wearing a nightgown, the rest of them were dressed like they were going skiing. 

· Actors were injured on set: First, Ellen Burstyn hurt her coccyx in the scene when Regan throws her off the bed. Seems like this was more of the director being a dick than a curse. See the interview. Then, a rig broke when Regan was thrashing on the bed also caused her to get a spinal injury and she suffered from scoliosis for the rest of her life. She also got death threats for 6 months. 

· Actor and film crew deaths: 9 total associated with the movie. Actors Jack MacGowran, and Vasiliki Maliaros both died while the film was in post-production. What makes their deaths strange is that their characters died in the film as well. 

· Actors experienced family deaths:Linda Blair’s grandfather and Max Von Sydow’s brother, who died on Max’s first day of shooting. Also while filming, the son of Jason Miller, who played Father Damien Karras, was nearly killed when a motorcycle hit him. In 1987, actress Mercedes McCambridge, who played the demonic voice of Pazuzu, was the victim of a horrific tragedy when her son murdered his wife and children before taking his own life. 

· A suspected serial killer acted in the film: Paul Bateson was an x-ray tech at NYU Medical Center where a hospital scene was shot and managed to get a small part. In 1979, he was convicted of the murder of a film critic and was sentenced to 20 years. He bragged about the murders of six men whom he said he picked up in gay bars, had sex with them and then murdered and dismembered their bodies and put them into plastic bags “for fun” in 1977 and 78. They were known as the “bag murders.” He was never charged and those murders have technically never been solved. Bateson was released from prison in 2004. Inspired Friedkin to make 1980 film Cruising. Nobody can find this guy now. 

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2. THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

A few of the accidents that occurred while filming this movie include Caviezel suffering from hypothermia while shooting in the winter, as well as pneumonia, a dislocated shoulder, and accidentally being thrashed during a whipping scene. Although these mishaps appear brutal, one accident involving Caviezel and assistant director Jan Michelini was so unexpected that it was actually considered a sign from God. 

 

Both Caviezel and Michelini were struck by lightning during the filming of the scene of the Sermon on the Mound. ”I’m about a hundred feet away from them, when I glance over and see lightning coming out of Caviezel’s ears. Both Caviezel and Michelini got struck,” producer Steve McEveety said. ”The main bolt hit Caviezel and one of its forks hit Michelini’s umbrella.” Months earlier, Michelini had also been hit while carrying an umbrella. Neither man was hurt in the incidents. .

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3. SUPERMAN

Many actors who have played the role of Superman have died in strange or unexpected ways, or have experienced horrific accidents throughout their lifetimes. Some say the curse extends beyond the main role as many others involved have also suffered extensive trauma. Still sound super to you?

  

· Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster: writer and artist of Superman, sold the rights of the character to DC Comics for a surprisingly small amount of money - $130. Never made any money, got physically ill looking at the comics, lived out lives in poverty d.

· Kirk Alyn: 1940s superman- typecast could never get another job, died with Alzheimers 

· Bud Collyer: voiced 60s cartoon version of superman. Only three short years after voicing Superman for the second time, Bud was found to have a circulatory ailment and died unexpectedly at the age of 61 

· George Reeves: 1950’s superman- got typecast, did one other movie but audience could only see him as the man of steel. Killed himself with a gunshot wound to the chest in 1959 

· Lee John Quigley: cast at seven months old to represent the baby version of the Man of Steel in the 1978 movie. He grew older to have a rough life, teased and bullied, turned to drugs. In 1991, this abuse ended his life, as he "inhaled harmful gas aerosols" and subsequently died. He was only 14

· Christopher Reeve: 1978 Superman- typecast, couldn’t get other jobs, took up horseback riding as a hobby. 1995 horse threw him and he broke his neck. 2004 he had an adverse reaction to some antibiotics and died of a heart attack

Margo Kidder: played Lois Lane in 1978, was in a major car accident in 1990 that left her temporarily paralyzed. She could not work which led to severe mood swings and depression. She began to have manic episodes and eventually had a severe breakdown in 1996. She became convinced that her previous husband was trying to kill her and began sleeping outside. She cut off her hair, was assaulted by a homeless man, and was finally sent in for treatment. She seems to have leveled out some since then and is living a quiet life.  

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4. BRAINSTORM

Brainstorm is a 1983 sci fi flick directed by Douglas Trumbull, and starring Christopher Walken, Natalie Wood (in her final film role), Louise Fletcher and Cliff Robertson. 

  

· Lead actress dies mysteriously: During a production break, Wood drowned after being on a yacht with husband Robert Wagner, the captain and Christopher Walken. No one claimed to have seen Wood fall into the water, so it was surmised that she was drunk and fell in. The captain claimed many years later that Wagner had killed her, but no one was ever charged. For decades, her death was classified as an accident, but authorities changed it to "undetermined" in 2012. It's one of Hollywood's biggest scandals. 

· Trumball never worked in Hollywood again, barely made money 

· Gets looped in with the Rebel Without a Cause curse, since Wood was in that and her costar, James Dean, died young and suddenly too.

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5. THE CONQUEROR

The Conqueror is a 1956 epic film directed by Dick Powell and written by Oscar Millard. The film stars John Wayne as Genghis Khan. Produced by entrepreneur Howard Hughes, it was considered one of the worst movies ever. Maybe that was a result of a curse?

· Exterior scenes were shot near St. George, Utah, close to the government's Nevada National Security Site. In 1953, 11 nuclear weapons tests occurred at the site, part of Operation Upshot–Knothole. Hughes shipped 60 tons of dirt back to Hollywood in order to finish filming.They were aware of the nuclear tests but the government assured that it was nbd.

· Director Powell died of cancer in January 1963, seven years after the film's release. 

· Actor Armendáriz diagnosed with kidney cancer in 1960, and killed himself in June 1963 after he learned his condition had become terminal. 

· Hayward, Wayne, and Moorehead all died of cancer in the 1970s. Hoyt died of lung cancer in 1991. Some blame smoking as Wayne himself thought his six-pack-a-day cigarette habit probably caused his lung cancer. 

· The cast and crew totaled 220 people. By the end of 1980, 91 of them had developed some form of cancer and 46 had died of the disease. Hughes felt guilty and bought every print of the film for $12 million. He managed to keep it out of circulation for many years until Universal Pictures purchased the film from his estate in 1979.

URBAN LEGENDS

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1. LEND A HAND

Two goth kids in jersey took the same route every day to get to school. They would make it a point always to go to the same tollbooth and ask “How much?” The toll booth guy would always respond the same way, “75 cents.” One day, the kids were feeling bored. After going through their typical exchange, the driver said, “that’s a rip off.” Rather than just dropping the 3 quarters into the guy’s hand, he hooked him with a pair of handcuffs. The booth man noticed the cuffs were tied to a rope and the driver sped off. The man started screaming and weeping, realizing his arm was going to be ripped off. As the car sped off, the frayed end of the rope fluttered out the window. 

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2. C'MON DAD GIMME THE CAR TONIGHT

15-year-old girl wasn’t allowed to drive but she met a really cute guy that invited her to a party. So she snuck out. She was getting frisky with the dude and wanted some privacy so they grabbed a bottle of vodka and headed out to his car. He drove them to a make out spot and got hammered, passed out in the back seat. She was freaking out because she couldn’t let her parents know she snuck out and had to get home. She started driving, even though she didn’t know how and was buzzed, and she hit another car head on. She woke up in the ER and immediately began begging the nurse not to tell her parents what happened. The nurse agreed and left the room. Another nurse asked her, “Did you tell her she’s dying?” “No, and I couldn’t get myself to tell her everyone else in the cars had already died. Or that the car she hit was her parents out looking for her.” 

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3. GOT GAS?

A band on tour was making their way across the country but starting to get a little broke. They stopped to sleep at a campsite and noticed a bunch of RVs. They were parked next to a family of rednecks and figured they could siphon a little gas without anyone really noticing. The vocalist was nominated as the band believed he had the strongest lungs. He unscrewed the gas cap, put in his pipe and started sucking. The taste that filled his mouth was vile and he began retching immediately. The next day, the patriarch of the family was walking around the camper and yelled, “Who left the cap to the septic unscrewed?!” 

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4. MOON JOB

When Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon and delivered his famous line, he kept talking to the COM traffic, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. One mysterious thing he said was, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors’ bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, “Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!” 

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5. JACK-OFF-LANTERN

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27-year-old white male, resident of Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t.” He stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged “need.” “I guess I was just really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. “It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure.” Said officer Taylor. “I walked up to [Davidson] and he’s … just working away at this pumpkin.” Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. “I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?’ He got real surprised as you’d expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin? Damn … is it midnight already?'

SUPERSTITIONS

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1. DON'T TAKE BANANAS ON BOATS

Why would a sailor get so upset if you bring a potassium rich snack on board?  

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2. DON'T OPEN UMBRELLAS INSIDE

What is the history, dating back to when Egyptians worshiped Ra, that led up to umbrellas being bad luck to open inside? 

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3. SALT OVER SHOULDER

Make sure to take the salt out of the bottle before you toss it over your shoulder in order to avoid awkward conversations with innocent bystanders. 

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4. KNOCK ON WOOD

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I'm dwoning

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5. STEP LEFT FOOT FIRST

Forget the hokey pokey, it's not what it's all about after all. According to this urban legend, you better be riding goofy. 

BOTCHED EXECUTIONS

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1. CATHERINE WHEEL

A way less fun version of Twister, this medieval torture device was not a pleasant way to go when it was working correctly. One occasion when it worked incorrectly led to the retirement of the executioner. 

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2. BEHEADING

The best way to get a head in life, is to use a sharp object. Not any of the blunt objects used historically.

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3. LETHAL INJECTION

Too buff to inject? The typical reason that lethal injection lasts longer than intended is collapsed veins. But one man was actually too muscular for the needle. When he flexed, it shot the syringe toward the audience of execution onlookers. 

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4. HANGING

You ever wonder what happens when hanging is selected as the execution method for someone who is considered morbidly obese?

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5. SCHWEDENTRUNK

This is the most disgusting way to go- literally swallowing your own shit until your stomach explodes. It's basically Taco Bell. 

dISTURBING DISEASES

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1. HYPERTRICHOSIS

Not to be confused with Werewolf syndrome, Clinical lycanthropy, when someone psychologically believes they are a werewolf. This is the one where you get all hairy.

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2. XERODERMA PIGMENTOSIM

The symptoms of this disease bare a striking resemblance to the characteristics of vampires.

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3. ARGYRIA

The original Blue Man Group could have easily been formed by those with argyria. Their skin and eyes turn blue. Papa smurf status.

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4. EPIDERMOYPLASIA VERRUCIFORMUS

Tree Man Syndrome results in people sprouting wart like growths all over their body that resemble tree bark.

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5. SCHMID-FRACCARO SYNDROME

Cat Eye Syndrome symptoms include abnormal obstruction of the anus. None of that normal shit. 

IN LOVE WITH A MONSTER - HYBRISTOPHILES

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1. CHRIS WATTS

What's not to love about a family man? A lot if that "family man" is a family annihilator. Watts murdered his pregnant wife and two young daughters while having an affair with his co-worker. And girls write him in prison wanting to have him take care of their children.  

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2. DYLAN ROOF

These girls are so extreme they call themselves "Roofies." They tend to focus their love letters on the physical features of 90s Tiger Beat hair and the icy blue eyes. 

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3. NICHOLAS CRUZ

Yup, there are people that like him too. 

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4. TED BUNDY

Widely known to have used his charm on women to disarm his victims, Bundy is an obvious choice for these hybristophiles. Some of them came on so strongly, he was actually disturbed by it. 

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5. DZHOKHAR TSARNAEV

It's not just girls writing in to this Boston Bomber, Rolling Stone decided to have him grace the cover. Do you find any moral dilemma in this?