Aron

IF YOU SEE THIS MAN BEWARE, THIS IS AN EXTREMELY SKEPTICAL INDIVIDUAL. We added the warning in case his name didn't make it obvious enough. For all (zero) of you out there wondering, John is just a normal guy with a very well maintained beard and the appetite of a blue whale. Except he's not eating tiny crustaceans and krill, fuck that. What is he eating these days? None of your business really, but keep asking and he'll eat your ass. 

• Was the FIRST EVER GUEST on the Evil Examined Podcast
• Enjoys his meats so much that he's been a victim of gout (the disease of kings) in the past
• Is a Philadelphia Eagles fan (just when you thought he couldn't be a bigger piece of shit)
• Has presented the Odd News on multiple shows in the past

He presents a powerful one sided, tunnel visioned opinion. But to him, his opinion is the only one that matters anyway. Just when we wanna believe in a UFO or life after death, John is there to chastise us and make us feel like shit for wanting to believe in something cool.

"Sometimes you're Leonardo DiCaprio (in The Revenant) and sometimes you're the black guy in The Edge" - In response to survival contests in which man is pitted against animal on Season 1, Episode 3 - Lords of Chaos 

• Evil Examined - Lords of Chaos
• Evil Examined - 24 Years
• Extra Evil - Eating Ass & Passing Gas
• Extra Evil - Dog Love
• Extra Evil - Skulls
• Extra Evil - The CT Factory Shooting

All throughout his life people have been passionately debating if his existence has (or ever had) any purpose, even on the most granular level. He never thought to ask the question himself, which makes the answer obvious, although maybe still not to him... Also when he's not dealing with retards he's busy being one.

• Dresses in women's clothing
• Was previously in a band with Aron and Daddi Bace called Pisstaind Shirt
• Currently in band called "Orange Stax" (WTF?)
• Farts can clear out a room, smells like something crawled up his ass and died

He's not.

"Who's getting near your asshole that you need to clean it that much?" - In reference to Aron's shitting habits discussed on Season 1, Episode 8 - 24 Years

• Evil Examined - Children Who Remember Past Lives
• Evil Examined - You Think You Know Me
• Evil Examined - 24 Years
• Evil Examined - The Walton Experience
• Fact or Fable - Sleep on it
• Fact or Fable - The Donor

The true origin of his name can only be learned from his early periods when he had just immigrated to America. At the time fellow classmate Lil Jorge commented on how poor his English was. The equation goes: Rony + Hooked on Phonics = Ronix

Around this time Ronix also enjoyed shitting on the hoods of parked unoccupied school buses to catch a giggle with friends. 

• Believed for quite sometime he's been harboring multiple tapeworms and/or other parasites because he's unable to gain weight
• Let's his baby arm dangle
• Is the Co-Host of another podcast about passions called The Br3akdown   
• Had a strong hatred of sour cream not too long ago but recently has been more open-minded

He can usually bring flavor to dull surroundings. When everyone is bored Ronix is still ready to discuss his drug habits and try to fuck girls.

"If it wasn't for me they could have died..." In reference to saving a girl that got separated from her friends in a nightclub on Season 1, Episode 5 - A Dark Night in Aurora

• Evil Examined - A Dark Night in Aurora
• Evil Examined - Alien Abduction & Evil Mutilation 
• Evil Examined - The Watcher & Child Horrors

Brimming with borderline genius this man is a fountain of useless knowledge and opinions. Born to be successful, also a family man but still not afraid to call you out on your bullshit.

• Works with planes in a big way
• Tall as fuck
• Makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich
• Has fingers that are meant to play the piano but prefers the skin flute

A voice made for radio and a face made for porno. What more could you ask for?

"I don't recall." - In reference to being questioned on if he participated in the verbal abuse and antagonization of a fellow 6th grade classmate on Season 1, Episode 6 - You Think You Know Me

• Evil Examined Episode 6 - You Think You Know Me

Being an artist is not exactly profitable these days but when you're planning on taking off to California with some people you barely know none of shit matters anyway.

• Never received a motor vehicle violation
• Good on the grill
• Talented musician 
• Started a revolutionary potato chant in high school

Essentially a musical rolodex, has every song ever made memorized like he paid the devil himself for this ability, or at the very least gave Mr. Pickles a treat.

"Maybe the deputy did not look hard enough..." - In response to a cop saying that he didn't see any of the "little white things" crawling in the skin of a meth addict who had just finished helping his wife die on Season 1, Episode 7 - 44 Days

• Evil Examined - 44 Days

Obese. A below average musician who will make you smile whenever you look at him. Lowers the bar to a level that is relatable to our audience. His difficulty with pronouncing basic words could inject comedy into a funeral. 

• Is rarely seen barefoot
• Can't swim
• Was in 2 bands you never heard of
• He gets the shits when he eats ice cream

He's Black.

"Do you think that's what led to all these murders could have been that he was an unsatisfied customer?" - Pitching the theory that Jack the Ripper was just an unsatisfied customer on Season 1, Episode 9 - The Crippler 

• Evil Examined - The Crippler
• Evil Examined - 13
• Evil Examined - Father's Day
• Evil Examined - Botched Executions
• Evil Examined - Aaron Hernandez
• Reel Judgements - The Strange Thing About the Johnsons

One half of the most famous twins in Rhode Island, known for blaming shit on his brother Roland. Was pen pals with Aaron Hernandez. 

• Witnessed the beating of a man with a fence post
• Got through cub scouts without being molested 
• Is a twin 
• In a band with Daddi Bace

Can bring the solid family perspective and a good cock joke if the wind is right.

"Who's the real cunt in the room?" - questioning if a 911 operator or Aron is the real bitch on Season 1, Episode 10 - Identical Horror

• Evil Examined - Identical Horror
• Evil Examined - Father's Day
• Evil Examined - Botched Executions
• Evil Examined - Aaron Hernandez

Going to hell if we don't change our ways, that's what Mike would tell you. A fist thrower who donned the gloves after taking one too many shots to the head. He can fix cars but sure as fuck can't paint them.

• Guest on Evil Examined as well as a co-host for the Reel Judgements Podcast
• Top notch Nintendo player
• Enjoys hallucinating 
• Prefers to live in a car 

He's a security asset and failed firefighter.

"They have this box of teeth that they bring out." - Discussing his dental experiences on Season 1, Episode 11 - Possession Obsession

• Evil Examined - Possession Obsession 
• Evil Examined - Father's Day
• Evil Examined - Botched Executions
• Evil Examined - Aaron Hernandez
• Extra Evil - Dog Love
• Extra Evil - Skulls
• Extra Evil - The CT Factory Shooting
• Reel Judgements - Following
• Reel Judgements - August Underground Mortum
• Reel Judgements - Men Behind the Sun
• Reel Judgements - The Exorcist 
• Reel Judgements - Hereditary
• Reel Judgements - The Strange Thing About the Johnsons

It depends on the level of alcohol ingested. It's like a scale, Sarita is known to be nearly silent while sober with the ability to escalate seemingly out of nowhere to an almost inaudible peak. 

• Grew up with holy water under her bed
• Enjoys bone-in chicken wing sandwiches with extra ketchup 
• Can speak with confident tone while making no sense 
• She can read your future

She can bring your kids to school

"We used to ride my dad around in the yard in his daisy dukes and cowboy boots" Discussing how she used to ride her father with a real horse saddle on Season 1, Episode 13 

• Evil Examined - 13
• Evil Examined - Alien Abduction & Evil Mutilation 
• Evil Examined - Disturbing Diseases
• Evil Examined - The Watcher & Child Horrors

Beware of the queerness, the debauchery and the overall joy this man injects raw and unprotected

• Requires ice cream post jerk-off
• Is the Co-Host of another podcast about passions called The Br3akdown
• Has at least one cavity (that most people find themselves inside)
• Is not an uncle but looks like one

He always has a smile on his face, no matter what evil slithers around him (or within him)

"So I guess it's a double guilty pleasure. I like to jerk-off AND eat ice cream." Discussing his guilty pleasures on Alien Abduction & Evil Mutilation Season 2

• Evil Examined - Alien Abduction & Evil Mutilation
• Evil Examined - The Watcher & Child Horrors